On August 22, 2001, the U.S. Census Bureau released data from the 2000 Decennial Census on the number of households headed by gay and lesbian partners in Mississippi, Arkansas, and Tennessee. The data showed that there were gay- and lesbian-partnered households in every county in the state of Mississippi A total of 4,774 couples registered as same-sex couples living in the same household during the 2000 census. According the Equality Mississippi, a gay/lesbian political action organization, and the Human Rights Campaign, this is a 609% increase from the 1990 figures. These figures represent the degree to which Mississippi as a whole was undercounted in this census. The state was undercounted by as much as 35,000 (the population of Tupelo), which will cost us more than $12,000,000 over the next ten years in Federal grants, and (more importantly), a representative in the House. (Take a lesson here, boys and girls, the census matters, and they want to know about you! In 2010, insist that you and your partner are counted. The future is at stake!) In addition, the statistics shown here do not represent the entire gay/lesbian population. For instance, it does not count the number of single gays and lesbians, or the number of partners who live in separate households. In addition, it does not count the number of partners who, for one reason or another, chose not to report their status to the government. Fear plays a major role in this decision. My partner and I discussed it at length before we finally agreed to take the leap and hope for the best! Regardless, these new figures provide food for thought for Mississippi's political, economic, and religious leaders.

The gay family has several things going against it in Mississippi. The most important of these is that it has no legal rights in the State of Mississippi. The former governor, Kirk Fordice, before his term expired, made a move which was passed by the legislature to make null and void any marriage or legal union between people of the same sex by another state. This move was decried by many as having the effect of declaring null and void the U.S. Constitution, which can only operate with the assumption that what is legal in one state is legal in another, or that at least the several states will respect what is legal in another state. The move to declare illegal all unions of same-sex partners was made in response to the Vermont decision to establish a legal same-sex domestic registry.

The Fordice law will be tested in the courts very soon. In November 2001, a Vermont lesbian couple, legally registered in that state, filed a petition in Mississippi to have the birth certificate changed for a young boy that they adopted. The boy was born in Mississippi, and the couple wished to have his birth certificate changed to reflect their status as his parents. The state refused to grant their petition on the grounds that a.) only legally married couples have the right to adopt children in Mississippi (the boy was adopted in Vermont), and b.) Same-sex partners do not have legal standing as a married couple in Mississippi. The Vermont couple have filed suit in federal court for redress. It has been stated already that change in Mississippi comes, sometimes very slowly, and sometimes by force, but it does come.

Another major problem facing the gay family in Mississippi revolves around financial difficulties brought about by the illegal status of such families. Domestic partner benefits that are offered by companies doing business in Mississippi are null and void. It is unclear to what degree these companies are allowed to pay these benefits for the Mississippi employees, and so far, no legal test has arisen. Gay families in Mississippi must take every legal precaution to protect inheritance provisions in thier wills. Mississippi courts will go out their way to find every legal loophole in wills that provide for domestic partner inheritance, even going so far as to declare wills invalid and the estate in question intestate. Therefore, gay families in Mississippi must go to considerable efforts and expense to ensure that potential loopholes have been covered.

Barring these difficulties, Mississippi has much to offer to the gay family. The state is actively recruiting industry and other businesses to locate in the state. These companies will naturally bring more modern enlightened business practices to the state, including those concerning domestic partner and other family-oriented benefits. Salaries and wages are increasing while the cost of living is remaining relatively stable at its low level (by national standards). Many gay families find that there are little or no hassles in finding appropriate housing, and that landlords and homesellers raise little issue with the status of their relationships. Of course, the downside to this is that should a landlord refuse to rent (or a homeowner refuse to sell) to a gay family, there is little recourse for the couple. Most gay families find that the more they downplay the status of the relationship, the fewer questions are asked. Mississippians are, by nature and experience, an obstinate population, and will react when their sense of propriety and morality is provoked. Families that insist (for one reason or another) on making an issue of their familial status may very well meet with resistence. More than likely, however, they will find that the issue will be dismissed by the third party not so much because they approve but more likely because they would prefer not to offend their moral standards. Some gay families find this unacceptable. However, if they are willing to go with the flow, then they will find a much more pleasant and easy experience.

There have been reports from time to time of gay families meeting resistence from public school authorities. This is indeed distressing. Basically, the complaints stem from the school system's refusal to accept the authority of the non-biological parent in the affairs of a child. Often there is a third party involved as well, specifically a biological parent with co-parental rights who is not happy with the gay relationship to begin with and seeks to exercise those rights over the child by involving school officials. This places school systems in very uncomfortable positions, forcing them to rely on legal standards during conflict resolutions. Those legal standards, again, will more often than not side against the gay family in such matters.

The important lessons to learn from these problems is that the one significant hindrance to the life and happiness of the gay family in Mississippi is its lack of legal protection. One will hear it repeated often in Mississippi that "gays want special rights, not equal rights" and that "the present laws protect all Mississippians, let gay citizens rely on the protection of the laws we already have." The fact remains, however, that the present laws of the state do not apply to us specifically because we have been made illegal. The former governor and the legislature has gone out of their way to make sure that the protection of the present laws of the state are to be specifically denied to us by declaring our relationships, families - indeed our very existence- illegal. As long as it remains so, every law upon which we may otherwise rely will be denied us. Mississippi is a great place to live, but there will always be this cloud hanging over us until they are repealed.

The Federal Government's findings on the state of same-sex family in Mississippi will eventually have a major impact on the state government's ant-gay policies. As more and more gay and lesbian families in the state stand up and allow themselves to be counted as a gay family, the state will have no other option than to rescind the laws that have been passed against us. Should the state government prove to be obstinate about this - and there is every reason to believe that it will - then the government of Mississippi will once again find itself at odds with the U.S. Constitution. The important thing to remember is that change will come - even if Mississippi has to be dragged into line kicking and screaming. The choice is that of the government. It can submit to enlightened reasoning and conform to modern American policy, or it can resist and bring shame once again to our state. With everything that Mississippi has going for it these days, one would hope that it would choose the enlightened path. We, as citizens of the state, can do our part in moving this process along by cooperating with the Census Bureau in 2010.